I've given my talk on Sexuality and Spirituality in many cities, from New York to Denver. As I speak of accessing our potential for sexual ecstasy, the same question inevitably arises — how do we learn this?
Men in particular are intrigued to hear that orgasm and ejaculation are not necessarily one and the same. Men, just like women, can experience different kinds of orgasm. And men can gain control over their ejaculation, thus allowing for a more prolonged sexual experience and greater satisfaction for a female partner. However, finding the right way to learn this is easier said than done. Sex sells. As a result, prices may be high, while the quality of instruction offered may vary. Sometimes, instructor integrity may be a concern. In this blog I'll give some simple suggestions for a way to approach befriending and harnessing your sexual energy and next week I'll offer some tried and trusted resources to help you in this journey.
Essentially, you'll need to work with body, breath, energy and awareness.
To experience your ecstatic potential, you need a basis of physical wellbeing.
- Clean up your diet: focus on fresh fruits and vegetables. Stay away from junk food and fast food, which slows and dulls your body and mind. A vegetarian diet is ideal to support greater clarity and awareness.
- Exercise: Taking regular exercise helps with overall energy and weight control. A basic level of physical fitness is a prerequisite.
- Habits: As the porter says in Macbeth, alcohol, "provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance." The same might be said of marijuana, while cigarette smoking constricts the blood vessels that supply the penis. To prepare your body as a sacred vessel for higher ecstasy, limit intoxicants.
- Kegels: Exercising your PC muscle is essential in order to gain control over ejaculation. Practice at least 30 kegels every day. (Here's how to do kegel exercises)
As part of your preparation for gaining ejaculatory control, it's important to become aware of your breath and its relationship to the energy flow in your body. In addition to your aerobic exercise, make yoga a part of your week. You will especially benefit from types of yoga such as Shivananda Yoga, which focus on uniting breath and body.
Practice a simple daily pranayama (Conscious breathing), after your Kegels. This will help you become more in tune with your breath. (Here's how to do a simple daily breathing exercise)
Your physical body is not your only body. You also have a subtle body or energy body, sometimes called the astral body. Becoming aware of this body is an essential component of any ecstatic or peak experience. Your breath is the link that connects you to your energy body and to the flow of your sexual energy. Chi Gong or Qi Gong practices are extremely valuable in working with energy body awareness. So if you have the opportunity to sign up for a weekly Chi Gong class in your area, that could be helpful.
There is one Chi Gong practice that is fundamental for harnessing male sexual energy--the Male Deer. This is best practiced in the morning. So now you can have a morning practice consisting of Male Deer, 30 kegels and nadi shodhan. (Here's how to do the Male Deer)
Awareness comes from meditation, a practice that helps us befriend and stay aware of our body, mind and energy. Practicing at a Shambhala Centre, Insight Meditation group or Zen group in your area will help you on your journey to your full potential. Another option is to attend a meditation retreat.
Ayurveda advises us to build good habits in an incremental way. The first month or so, focus on establishing a healthy diet and exercise programme and cutting back on intoxicants. Get going with your daily kegels. The next month, start your yoga and nadi shodhan practice. The third month, it's time to look into Chi gong and introducing a daily Male Deer practice. And next month, start to make meditation a part of your life. If you already have a good lifestyle and yoga practice, start with the Male Deer. This is a journey of a lifetime, so build a solid foundation.
Alakananda Ma M.B., B.S. (Lond.) is an Ayurvedic Doctor (NAMA) and graduate of a top London medical school. She is co-founder of Alandi Ayurveda Clinic and Alandi Ayurveda Gurukula in Boulder Colorado, as well as a spiritual mother, teacher, flower essence maker and storyteller. Alakananda is a well known and highly respected practitioner in the Ayurveda community both nationally and internationally.
Enliven your holistic health! Visit Alakananda Ma in Alandi Ashram’s ayurvedic clinic to support the overall rejuvenation of your body, mind, and spirit. In-person and virtual appointments available. Book now!